TOW: the Metaphorical Tunnel

Chandler: is at Central Perk with Janice and the rest of the gang. They're very cute together, kissing and what not. They stop when Joey comes in, angry at Chandler for not giving him a message about an audition. The message issue is resolved and Phoebe writes audition information on the back of Chandler's neck. Chandler comes into Monica and Rachel's with a ringing phone. He wants Joey to answer it because it's Janice and he doesn't want to have to see her. He's getting freaked out because at dinner she shared her food with him and gave him some of hers--something a couple would do. Joey, Rachel, and Monica convince him to make the commitment, go through the tunnel, if you will, and stop being afraid. Chandler decides to do it and invites Janice to his apartment for dinner. While there, he gives her a present. It's contact paper to go in her designated drawer in his dresser. She's flattered, but Chandler takes it too far, suggesting they take a trip and he meet her parents. Janice gets freaked out when Chandler says he wouldn't be upset if they were moving in together. Janice leaves and Chandler chases her down the street. Monica and Rachel comfort him, giving him ice cream (soy) and tell him to do damage control. He needs to run into Janice and act aloof. Chandler runs into Janice at a grocery store, but she knows he's doing it on purpose. Chandler freaks out. Back at his apartment, he tells Monica and Rachel what happened. They give him the good ice cream, but before he can eat it the phone rings. It's Janice. Chandler explains his behavior and things are okay between them.

Monica and Rachel: help Chandler with his Janice/commitment issues. They know what it's like for guys to get freaked out about serious relationships. When Chandler decides to make the commitment, they help him know what to do. When Chandler suggests he and Janice should live together, Monica and Rachel comfort him. They give him ice cream, the soy low-fat kind, and talk to him about Janice. They tell Chandler he probably didn't ruin things with her, but that he needs to do damage control. They tell him he needs to accidentally, on-purpose run into Janice and act aloof. Chandler comes to them after he messes up the aloofness and they give him the real ice cream, because they think it's over. Monica and Rachel know that if they ever acted the way Chandler did with a guy, they'd never hear from the guy again. They're baffled when Janice calls. They eat Chandler's ice cream. Both of them think Ross is ridiculous about Ben and the Barbie. Monica tells Carol and Susan about Ross dressing as a woman when he was little.

Phoebe and Joey: The gang watches Joey in a series of infomercials. Joey comes into Central Perk angry because he missed an audition. He didn't know anything about it because he never got Estelle's message. He thinks Chandler forgot to give it to him, but it was Phoebe. She wrote the information on her hand, but forgot to tell Joey. Joey can't get another audition time and Phoebe feels bad. Phoebe calls the casting agent and pretends to be Joey's agent. She gets Joey another audition. They're in Central Perk again and Phoebe's pager goes off. It's the casting agent, calling to say Joey got the part. Joey thinks Phoebe is the best agent he's ever had and he wants her to try to get him more roles. Phoebe agrees, but is worried that it won't be fun anymore. Phoebe walks into Monica and Rachel's, but leaves upon seeing Joey. Joey follows her into the hall and learns that Phoebe's avoiding him because he didn't get a role. Phoebe wants to quit being his agent, but Joey says she can't because he likes that she's honest. Joey thinks that Phoebe's honesty will help him improve his acting. In Central Perk, they go over notes Phoebe got from auditions to roles Joey didn't get. They're really mean and Joey says he's going back to Estelle. Then he asks if Phoebe made up all the bad feedback. Phoebe says yes.

Ross: gets Ben from Carol and Susan. Ben has a Barbie doll, which he loves. Ross wants to know why he has it and Carol and Susan want to know what's wrong with Ben having a Barbie. Ross says it's okay, but then tries to get the Barbie doll away once Carol and Susan leave. He tempts Ben with all kinds of other toys, but Ben sticks with his Barbie. Ross finally brings out the big guns, G.I. Joe. Ben doesn't seem too interested in Joe, but when Carol and Susan pick him up, he's abandoned Barbie. Ross is kind of a jerk about the whole thing and Monica calls him on it. She reminds him that he used to dress up as a woman, make everyone call him Bea, and sing a song about it.

• Joey's in infomercials for the 'milk master 2000' and something else that involves him wearing an epic fake mustache.
  

• Phoebe forgets to give the message to Joey because she and Chandler were playing hide-and-seek. That's kinda awesome.
  

• Ugly Naked Guy gets his dog a sweater. I didn't even know he had a dog.
  

• Ben and his Barbie

The angle of this picture makes Ross look like one of those body builders whose body's so big it makes their head look tiny.

• Chandler repeatedly hits Monica in her fake boobs.
  

Well, when they're that big...Wouldn't those be, like, an occupational hazard?

• Ross has more fun with the G.I. Joe than Ben does

Gah, Ross, it's not a big deal that Ben plays with a Barbie. Get over yourself.

• I feel bad for Joey and all the bad feedback he gets. It's sweet of Phoebe to say she made the negative feedback up because she knows it upsets Joey.
  

• Meet Bea:

I love the Bea video. And Monica cleaning up after him.

• I like this episode, but it's nothing special. I get kinda bored with Joey and Phoebe's storyline after awhile.
  

Oh. My. God.

"Aw! There's got to be a better way!" -Joey, on the infomercial.

"Noo way, Kevin." -Rachel, when Joey wants to turn the infomercial off.

"Are you intrigued?"
"You're flingin'-flangin' right I am!" -Ross and Chandler, mocking the infomercial.

"See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere."
"Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play." -Monica and Phoebe, on why Joey missed his audition and why Monica doesn't get to play hide-and-go-seek.

"Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!"
"Oh, now you want a pad." -Chandler and Monica, when Phoebe uses the back of Chandler's neck as a notepad.

"He carries it everywhere. It's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret." -Susan, about Ben's Barbie.

"I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?" -Monica, getting dressed for the diner.

"You didn't want to share your tomatoes--tomatoes are very important to you?" -Ross, when Chandler freaks out about his dinner with Janice.

"If you're afraid of bugs...get a bug!" -Joey, on how to get over phobia's.

"Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!"
"Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way." -Joey and Chandler, after Chandler decides to commit to Janice.

"Well, I gotta buy a vowel because, oh my Gawd!" -Janice, when Chandler gives her the drawer.

"I've scared ya! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!" -Chandler, after freaking Janice out.

"So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof." -Rachel, on how Chandler can get Janice back.

"G.I. Joe! Cool! Can I play!" -Joey, seeing Ross with a G.I. Joe.

"Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!" -Ross, talking about G.I. Joe.

"Oh, now you're sad and creepy, oh." -Phoebe, after Joey doesn't get a part."

"Are you being British?!" -Janice, running into Chandler at the grocery store.

"They said you 'weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that." -Phoebe, explaining to Joey why he didn't get a role in a commercial.

"And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store." -Chandler, telling Monica and Rachel what happened with Janice.

"My God! Chandler, we said be 'aloof' not 'a doof.' -Monica, to Chandler after he acts stupid with Janice.

"Stop naming dwarves!!!" -Chandler, at Monica and Rachel's advice when Janice calls.

"What are you being such a weenie for? So he has a Barbie, big deal. You used to dress up as a woman." -Monica, when Ross is a jerk about Ben picking G.I. Joe.

"I've literally never been this happy." -Susan, learning about Ross dressing as a woman.