TOW: the Fake Party

Rachel: it all starts with Rachel selling Joshua a coat. She decides to write Joshua a letter telling him she has a crush on him, which she plans to stick in the pocket of a coat Joshua's going to buy. She writes a few rough drafts in Central Perk, and Chandler makes fun of her early efforts. What I can only assume is the next day, Rachel brings Joshua a trench coat to try on. She's already put the letter in one of the pockets, so she stops him from putting his hands in the pockets. She blames her strange behavior on a store policy. Joshua mentions that he went on a date, wearing a shirt Rachel picked out. He follows that up, saying that he had an okay time, but doesn't think he's ready to date yet. Rachel snatches the note out of the pocket, but Joshua catches her. Rachel says she was removing a theft device, but Joshua sorta knows something's up. After this, Rachel runs into Chandler and Joey's, telling them they have to throw a going-away party for Emily, but it's really for Joshua. Rachel explains about Joshua not being ready for a relationship, and that the party is the only way she can see him outside of work. She's planning on seducing him. Ross isn't into the party idea, because he wants to spend time with Emily, but Emily arrives and is thrilled by her surprise party. The seduction of Joshua does not go well. Rachel first tries to play hard-to-get, but that doesn't work. Then, she attempts to wow Joshua with her ability to tie a cherry steam with her tongue; she chokes herself. She changes into her lucky little black dress, hoping it'll do the trick. Joey suggests she take off her bra under her outfit, like in Flashdance, but Rachel doesn't like the idea. Monica tries to think of ways for Rachel to kiss Joshua, and suggests Spin-the-Bottle. Rachel laughs at that, until Ross, Emily, and Joshua try to leave. Rachel tells them they can't, because they'll miss the 'big thing,' which is playing Spin-the-Bottle. Rachel's spin actually lands on Joshua, but before they can kiss, the baby (Phoebe's) kicks for the first time. Rachel smells or kisses Joshua's pants; she pretends there was a bug on him when she gets his attention. Rachel decides to put on her high school cheerleader uniform. She does a cheer in honor of Emily's going away, ending up hurting herself. Her lip is swollen, and Joshua decides to leave. Joey's still mentioning the bra removal. Rachel takes Joshua to get his coat, and decides to do the bra thing. It gets stuck in her shirt sleeve. Frustrated, she blurts out that she was doing all the weird stuff because she was trying to seduce Joshua. Joshua admits to liking her too, but says he's really not ready to get into anything so soon after his divorce. Rachel ends up sitting out in the hall with Ross. Neither of their evenings has gone as they planned. Rachel gives Ross some advice about Emily, really improving his evening. Ross goes back into the party, but Chandler comes out and sits with Rachel. Before they can start talking, Joshua comes back up. He says he wants to try to make something work with Rachel, even though he's really not ready. They almost kiss, but Chandler's watching, so they go into Rachel's apartment.

Ross: and Emily meet up with the gang in Central Perk. They'd just gone to a museum display on Victorian doorknobs, which was surprisingly interesting. Emily leaves, giving Ross a chance to talk about how much he likes her, and how much fun they have together. The only thing is, Emily's going back to London in two days, so they aren't staying together. Ross knew that's how it had to be, but he's still pretty down about it. When Rachel comes barging in, telling everyone they have to throw a party for Emily, Ross really isn't interested. He had a whole evening planned for he and Emily, and doesn't want that messed up. However, Emily arrives, Rachel and the others do the surprise, and Emily loves it. She's having a great time at the party; whenever Ross wants to leave, Emily's not ready. The first time, Monica's been telling Emily all about Ross dressing up as Bea. The next time they try to leave, Rachel tells them they'll miss the 'big thing.' Emily has a great time talking to Chandler, but when Emily's not around, Ross scolds him. He wants Chandler to stop being funny and interesting, because he wants to leave. Finally, Rachel comes in with her cheerleader outfit on, and Emily thinks it's going to be a skit, and won't let Ross leave. Ross is drinking a beer out in the hall, when Rachel comes out. Rachel apologizes for ruining Ross' evening. She feels super bad that she made him do the party thing at the last minute, when he had other plans. Ross is upset, because Emily's leaving and he wants to spend as much time as possible with her. Rachel tells Ross that it seems like he and Emily like each other more than people committed to only being together for two weeks. Rachel comments that a girl who wasn't really interested wouldn't spend an entire evening with a guy's friends, asking to here stories about him. Rachel suggests Ross spend as much time as possible with Emily in the next few hours. Ross is comforted, and goes back to the party to be with Emily.

Joey and Phoebe: Phoebe's in a horrible mood at the beginning of the episode. She's hungry, but everything she tries to eat makes her nauseous. At Chandler and Joey's, she smells something that doesn't make her sick. It's coming from the bathroom because Joey's in the shower with a bologna sandwich. Phoebe's craving meat, but she doesn't want to eat any. The fact that she wants meat, only upsets her more, because she refuses to eat it. Phoebe watches Joey make a sandwich, encouraging him to tell her everything he's using to make it. Phoebe still wants meat, maybe more so, since watching Joey make his sandwich. She tells Chandler, as he's making a sandwich of his own, why she won't be eating any meat. She ends up eating Chandler's sandwich. Joey tells Phoebe to go all out, and offers her steak. She and Joey eat the steak, but Phoebe feels awful afterword. She's horrified about how much meat she ate, and how much she'll have to eat throughout the pregnancy. Joey offers to become a vegetarian to fill her place during her pregnancy. Phoebe makes a sandwich, and Joey makes her narrate as she makes it. He really wants some of the sandwich, but can't because he's being a vegetarian.

Monica and Chandler: don't do much this episode. Chandler can't keep himself from adopting a British accent whenever Emily's around. Monica asks him to stop doing it, because it's weird. Chandler decides Monica actually really likes the accent. Monica tells Emily stories about Ross as a child. Chandler gets upset because people keep telling him to be funnier or to stop being funny altogether.

• Blah, blah, Rachel and Joshua, blah, blah, blah.

• I think it's so cute how excited Emily is about her fake surprise party. Granted, she doesn't know it's fake, but it's totally adorable how happy it makes her.

• I really don't have a ton to say about this ep. It's not one of my favorites. Probably because it's so Joshua heavy.

• Uh, this is a pretty lame party if they have to resort to playing Spin the Bottle.

• Even though I hate the Josh stuff, Rachel is super adorable with her bra hanging out of her sleeve.

• I totally understand why Ross is upset, but I think Rachel's right. He should spend as much times as possible with Emily, even if it isn't what he wants to do.

• Joshua says the only time Rachel hasn't been sophisticated was at this party. Uhhh...kay...Do you not remember the awkward hand holding, the running into the mannequin, Rachel checking our your ass...any of that ringing a bell? She's not exactly subtle.

• Phoebe eating meat is sorta funny, but eh.

• Chandler's pretty creepy watching Joshua and Rachel.

• Speaking of Chandler, what happened in Yemen? I've always wondered.

• Gunther almost gets to kiss Rachel in Spin the Bottle. And he tells Emily he's dating Rachel. Why do they always invite Gunther to parties?

The Magna-Doodle Says

"Emily... Bon Voy see ya!

Oh. My. God.

"Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you never go out of style. What did you throw away?" -Chandler, to Rachel, as she's working on her note to Joshua.

"I don't know how museums work in England, but here you're not supposed to take stuff."

"I, uh, I got it from the gift shop. They have really lax security there." -Monica and Emily, when Emily shows them a Victorian doorknob.

"That's sweat. You throw up all morning, you'll have that glow, too." -Phoebe, to Joey, after he compliments her pregnant lady glow.

"Or if you want to kiss him, umm, you could use mistletoe."

"It's not Christmas!"

"Or Spin the Bottle?"

"He's not 11!" -Monica and Rachel, trying to figure out how Rachel can kiss Joshua.

"There's a Phoebe on my sandwich!" -Chandler, after Phoebe attacks his sandwich.

"Oh, now see that's a fancy but." -Rachel, to Joshua, replacing 'but' with 'however.'

"You got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and you're sitting in the hallway with a 28 year old cheerleader with a fat lip." -Rachel, to Ross, about spending time with Emily before she leaves.

"I don't know, it was you and a bunch of albino kids."

"Oh my God! Those weren't albino kids, that was computer camp!" -Rachel and Ross, after Emily looked at old photo albums of Ross.

"Now if a cow should die of natural causes, I can have one of those right?"

"Not if I get there first." -Joey and Phoebe, discussing Joey's temporary vegetarianism.